Changing (plans) with God

Just a week ago I was convinced that I would be returning to Williamsburg, living with some friends and navigating the "real world" (some might say, I would be 'starting at the bottom'). I had no reason to believe, or even consider otherwise.

But then, last Wednesday, I got a message.

It was from YWAM, inviting me to staff. Now, when I finished up the secondary school at the end of 2014 and getting ready to return to school, I thought that the YWAM chapter of my life had come to a close. Some people asked me if I thought about returning, and I usually responded with something like, "Anything's possible", but not seriously considering it.



So here I was, a plan in one hand, and an invitation in the other. I honestly had no idea which way to go. Each side held its merits, and seemed to be honored by God. So I asked my mom for advice. We sat down, prayed, and after a little bit of silence, she shared some wisdom with me.

Go with the decision that you think will be harder, and there you will grow more.

My plan to go to Williamsburg would've had its difficulties. Having tried to find summer work before, I knew that finding a stable job would not be easy. But as I examined the invitation, I was intimidated, and kinda terrified. I would be leading a team of Discipleship Training School (DTS) students.

I'm not new to leadership necessarily, as I've been a captain of a few ultimate frisbee teams. But that was always a lot easier because I could lead out of a position of strength. I would be quiet for the first couple of weeks or months, earning respect through my skills. But, I'm not a "super-Christian", or some spiritual giant. I'm Tim, just Tim, and I have so few answers, but dozens of questions.

How do I guide people in their journey through faith?
What will outreach look like?
How do I serve these students best?
What does my time during the lecture phase look like?
How... who... when... what?

And though my head swirls with all the questions and whatnot, I think it all boils down to, "How do I not screw this up?" Of all the questions, I think this one I have the answer to. The only way that I can not screw this up, is to not attempt it at all. Just walk away.

But like my mom said, this is where I would grow more. Sure, I'll make mistakes, but that's the only way to grow. But the question of, "How do I not screw this up?" is also out of place. It's not about me, and the things that I can do. It's about depending on God, and witnessing the things He chooses to do through me.

So yeah, going back to YWAM Maui (as beautiful as it will be) will be extremely challenging, but that just means that I'll have to depend on God more, which always brings about awesome things.

Alright, that's what I've been going through, now to get to some practicalities. I am going to need partners moving forward in this ministry. Prayer is a significant need, as the road ahead is steep, and God most certainly knows that I need help. Additionally, I do need to fundraise for this ministry opportunity. However, I feel like this blog is not the right place to communicate such needs. So, I've decided to set up a monthly newsletter. If you would like to partner with me, or just follow along what's going on, you can sign up for the newsletter on the side. Thanks!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 
           -Hebrews 12:1-2